Best Financial Joke of 2008 That Circulated Around the Internet

A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (General Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.

Talismans of Memories

I am the keeper of things, other people's things. During the past month, a very close friend of mine died suddenly. I now find myself as keeper of her treasures waiting for her family to claim them. This whole experience has caused me to do a considerable amount of self-questioning. Why the hell do I do this? This is nothing new. I have everybody's stuff stored in boxes in the attic, in the garage, squirreled under the stairwell. If I had a basement there would undoubtedly be more stuff. Things that are not wanted; things that are not used entombed in boxes and plastic containers. My sister's "last doll" lying in its original box, kept in air-conditioned space. Do I think that by keeping these things I am keeping these people alive? I am overwhelmed with this crap. I don't want to be this person anymore. I was relating my frustration to a neighbor's brother who is visiting from "up north" and he referred to these things as a talisman of memory, a very phrase. It really caused me to think about why I have been doing this. it all needs to go. A good friend of mine is the worst at collecting the past. She can't get rid of anything and she knows it. I was relating my revelation to her and she said she was seeking therapy to rid herself of this obsession. I have redone my kitchen to create more space. it now accommodates every Christmas card I have ever received for over the past ten years. They go tonight. I will look at them for the last time. Ok well, I took a break and did that. I made several calls and reconnected with a few people. I had a couple of good telephone conversations. isn't that better than keeping old cards in a drawer? I cannot resurrect my dead friends and loved ones. I will delete the talismans of memory and keep just the memories. the dead are that.. dead I cannot keep them alive.

Feliz Festivus