Hey Honey, I Think the Limpkins are Here!

One of the least endearing things about Florida is what it attracts, certain humans included. The summers bring torrential rain, hurricanes, mold, stinging caterpillars, possums, raccoons, feral cats and roaches to die for. But the thoughts of the summer indignities fade away as the weather cools to the perfect winter climate of 70 degrees with a small breeze wafting by.

This year the perfect winter climate arrived on time and it brought the Limpkins. Now the ibis, egrets, turtles and occasional alligator have been interesting and become somewhat of a normal thing. The Wood Storks, I think, are still interesting. They have only recently taken up residence here in the last year. They have a curious walk and seem totally focused on eating as they quietly patrol the banks of Lake Wellington, or is it Wellington Lake? The Limpkins are another matter entirely.

In my neighborhood, we have a congenial group that gets together from time to time. One evening, as we sat watching the sun’s last rosy glow, darkness flowing noiselessly over the lake we toasted our good fortune in friendship, fair weather and health. The Tiki torches were lit, and the hors d'oeuvres were passed. I smugly smiled to myself thinking of those poor folks up north suffering the first throes of winter. ..........I said, “What do you suppose the weather is doing now in New York?” There were amiable chuckles all around. Then someone said, “What about Buffalo? Heard of any snow yet, Dennis?” The chuckles got louder with self satisfied smiles all around. Then there was this loud screeching noise from the bushes. It sounded like someone's liver was being forcibly removed. Hideous, horrendous ….. A perfectly alarming sound which started my heart pounding. “What in God’s name is that? Is something being killed?” I asked. “Nope”, said Jerry, “that’s the Limpkins”. “The Limpkins, What are the Limpkins?” I asked. “A bird, they just do that, you know”, he added. “Yes”, said Barbara, “haven’t you heard them before? They really do make a racket. They even woke me up the other night. I can’t believe you haven’t heard them before.”

So now I needed to find out about these Limpkins. So I googled and found out. They feed on apple snails. That would explain those abundant empty shells around the lake. I found this web page called “The Silence of the Limpkins” (Wanna make a bet?) This knowledgeable article, written by Susan Cerulean, tells more than I ever wanted to know about these birds and laments their loss asking the poignant question “Where Have Wakulla Spring’s Limpkins Gone?” Well Susan, wonder no more! They are in my back yard. They are breeding, preening, stuffing themselves with snails and screeching at all hours of the night. They do not appear to be endangered. They seem happy and fat. They litter the lawn with snail leavings which become projectiles when hit with a lawn mower going at full blast. This in turn damages my screen enclosure which makes me grumpy. I am now woken up at odd hours of the night. I understand that lack of sleep causes obesity. I need no encouragement in this area. Please, Susan, if you are out there, please, come and get your Limpkins.